In a relationship and really don’t want things to go wrong? In this article, Beauty and Tips gives you the lowdown on the rules you should never break.
Relationships can be tricky to navigate. There’s no official “Relationship Guidebook” (sadly), which means that we’re on our own. This can cause relationship anxiety and the questions are endless: Should we have said that? What does it mean when he does that? Are we supposed to ask if we’re even in a relationship? Once the so-called honeymoon of a period has passed and the two of you are well-established, you’d think that things would settle down and the questions would stop. However, this is only just getting started. Let’s take a look at 10 healthy relationship rules you should never break.
There are days when we might not feel like being kind. Hey, we’re having a bit of a nightmare and we just want to shut the world off. However, being kind doesn’t really take any effort. Moreover, it will also have a positive rebound effect by making you feel good, too.
It’s important that kindness becomes so ingrained in your relationship that it becomes second nature. Eventually, it should get to a point where you don’t stop to think about making them a cup of coffee in the morning but instead you just do it because this is what the two of you do for each other. Be nice to each other, even when you’re having a bad day or they’ve done something to irritate you.
Don’t argue to win
The two of you WILL fight. It’s inevitable. However, what’s important is that you establish a relationship rule as soon as possible: Don’t fight to win.
If you go into each argument with the mentality that you HAVE to win each time, it’s going to cause a lot of damage, resentment and it will fuel further fights. Instead, you should adopt the attitude that a fight is just a means to the two of you finding a satisfying resolution that can take your relationship forward. Sometimes, this will mean you admitting you were wrong even when you know you weren’t. But hey, it’s just something you have to do.
Don’t change them
Changing our partner doesn’t work so it isn’t worth the time. Moreover, it creates tension and makes them feel bad. Let it go. Find compromises and learn to love them for who they are.
It’s very hard to love someone else when we don’t love ourselves first. When you first got into a relationship with your partner, there’s a very good chance you loved yourself first. Loving ourselves makes it easier for others to love us back. However, if you break this rule and fall out of love with yourself it can be really hard for a relationship to thrive.
Why? We get out of the universe what we put into it. If you loathe yourself more than you love yourself, it will start to show through a loss of confidence, a loss of respect and more. At this point, a relationship can be severely tested.
This one goes without saying, but while we all know that we shouldn’t cheat physically, not all of us are aware of the impacts of cheating emotionally. In many ways, an emotional affair is more damaging than a physical one. When you get together with your partner, you’re essentially saying you will tell them everything and not go behind their backs. Stay loyal to them, both physically and emotionally. If you find yourself seeking something on an emotional level with someone else, you’re breaking a huge relationship rule that can create an irreversible rupture.
If your partner does something that’s truly unforgivable, there’s only one thing to do – move on from this relationship. For everything else, it’s important that you forgive and forget. Holding grudges destabilises a relationship. If you keep bringing up something they did years later, your relationship will struggle to be a happy one.
There’s a line in the film Comet that says all relationships start out with a lie. It sounds pretty cynical, but once we settle down with someone there’s an unspoken rule that we’re going to be honest with each other from now on. Honesty is what builds trust and trust is super important for any relationship. Without trust, the entire fabric that a relationship is built on can fall apart. If you find yourself slipping and telling lies, shake yourself out of it. One lie makes it easier to tell a second, third and fourth. Before you know it, you’re no longer the person your partner thinks you are.
Say what’s on your mind
If one day you decide not to say what’s on your mind, it’s a slippery slope. Telling yourself “it’s okay if I let this one slide,” might sound like a good idea at the time but it can come back to bite you in the bum at a later date. Communication is key in any relationship and it’s important that you talk to your partner if something is on your mind. Otherwise, even the small issues can fester and grow into total resentment. And it’s at that point that a relationship really begins to deteriorate.
Don’t offer ultimatums
Ever found yourself close to saying “it’s me or your friends” to your partner? If so, it’s good that you’ve so far resisted from actually coming out with it. And it’s important that you never come out with such an ultimatum. Ultimatums like this need to be avoided. Making your partner choose between you and their friends is unhealthy and can spoil a good thing. The best thing to do is to find a compromise.
Always say sorry
Lastly, if you made a mistake, own up to it. Take responsibility and apologise immediately. If you don’t, you’ll struggle to find solutions in the future and it can create massive discord in your relationship.
What are your thoughts on healthy relationship rules?